Here it goes AGAIN!!

I swear that I just did this with Tessa and it was awful but now Im doing it with Jake and its even harder. Someone told me that it would be easier with the second but I disagree. Its harder for me and every inch of my is telling me that Im completely screwing my kid up and messing with poor tessa's sleep too. I tried last week but after a day and a half I saw really no improvement and decided to wait a little longer to do it with him, however after the sleep that Rob and I HAVENT been getting because he is literally up every hour or two every night I dont have a choice. Im completly exhausted!!! And the poor thing is on no kind of schedule and really should be on SOME kind of one. I'm losing my mind.

This is the second time today Ive put him down without being asleep. The first was at 9:30 and he cried til 10:10 and fell asleep for 20 minutes. I got him when he started to cry after the 20 minutes because at least he fell asleep and he was in the crib for an hour (which is what I'm supposed to do). Now its 12:19 and I put him in at 12:07 and I dont hear anything. Well...its on and off but right now hes quietly making little noises but not crying his eyes out. I want so badly to have th ebabysitter here but at the same time I want to hear his cry to make sure that it doesnt change to something being wrong where I have to run in there and rescue my sweet baby Jake. He's the best little man in the world and my love for him is so deep that his cry breaks me. I hope Im not scaring him for life. I'm so sorry Jake for putting you through this! I love you.

Jake's Smile

Jake's Dedication

I want to post everyday but time is going to quick. I feel like I say that all the time but I cant help it because its true...Uh Oh Tess just woke up so I gotta go.

life with jake

Hi everyone .. I've been missing in action from the blog because life has changed soooo drastically with two kids and I don't have time for anything! Besides, Jake is an extremely colicky baby and I literally average about 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night...4 hours if im lucky! I was soo spoiled with tessas sleeping and I knew it wouldn't be that good again but I had no idea how bad a true colicky baby was! Of course he is so much better during the day and all hell breaks loose at night. I've had to keep mhself in check from getting angry with him because hes such a sweet baby and he can't help his belly aches and irritability, but with complete exhaustion set in I simply cant help but get angry.

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I was at the dentist while writing that. Waiting to get a root canal after having him isnt the thing I thought I would be doing within the first four weeks of his life, but never the less I woke up one night crying in pain that I never knew existed. The pain was more than excruciating and my face actually began eating itself (not really), but it did get red and swollen a bit from how bad it was. Thank God thats over with and my life has seemed to fall into a rythm on its own. THe days go by SOOO fast with two kids-I had NO IDEA how easy it was with just Tessa. Two kids definently change everything. I mean I have NO time for me anymore. My toes are a sight for sore eyes!!! No pedicure for me anytime soon!

Jake still has rough nights but we are able to see SOME light through our very long tunnel. He has gone 3-4 hours a few times lately so I know that he's growing up and will eventually be able to sleep longer more consistently. It would have been nice if it was last night-I mean I was up at 12,2,3,4,5, and when he got up at 6 I didnt go back to sleep. Needless to say I was NOT a happy lady when I got up for the day. I was sooooo tired and there are no naps for the weary with two kids (as if I need to tell any of you this).

Its insane how fast life has changed and how quickly time goes now. THere are no words for it...I turn around and its Friday again. Of course Im not working but I know that I will be sooner than later with how quickly the months seem to be ticking by. Nichole and Danielle have had their babies and eventually we'll have our kids getting together! I cant wait for that because we've all known each other for so long and it will be cool to see things come full circle, right? With the lack of time now I have yet to understand how to do laundry on a timely basis, clean, or even shower because the kids require so much (of course). I look at myself in the mirror and now understand why mothers of little kids look the way they do...I have turned into one of them myself. Putting on makeup is more or less a thing of the past but I must say if I had time to put some on every day I would feel a little better about myself. I mean, its one thing to feel like crap but its another thing to look in the mirror and the image looking back confirms how you feel. WHATEVER...as grandma always say, "This too shall pass." I firmly believe that!